Ireland & UK 2002 reviews
No Band Came
While we spent the evening of the cancelled London show mourning in the
pub next door, Garry Smith penned
this little ode to Ian Gillan's health
Maybe it's because you're only croaking
That I think you won't last too long
Maybe it's because I can see you coughing
That I think you've got it strong
Maybe I could be like Doc McCoy
With a high-tech, healing machine
Someone said "Is he gonna burn out, like?"
And someone else said "He'll be fine."
Well you were big and bold and more than twice as old
As when you were first seen
You cut your hair and ate more fruit
And still attempted to scream
And shook and shivered and danced and quivered
And stood in the beam of the spot
And people came from miles around and said
"Man your voice is really shot."
Well I knew what they meant because you were so sick
Your throat was tired and worn
Your pretty face just showed a grimace
And your voice sounded torn.
I brought along some folk to see a man who was the king
I said "My friends, we'll have some crazy scenes"
There weren't any scenes at all like I was talkin' about
But rather him than "King of Dreams!"
Well he wrote a pair of songs about the things he'd done
But on Friday couldn't sing them, so they never got sung
There's a law for the bass and one for guitar
and there's another one for singers
It's "catch cold and you're in trouble"
Hit the honey, make yours a double
People came from miles around
And said "Man that guy is really spunky."
You believed that you must face the truth
And see things as they really are
But if you faced the truth and nothing but the truth
Would the tour get very far?
We all know it's real and no fakin'
So don't try shouting out loud!
It's more than the glitter and shine that gets through
Where's my Doc McCoy outfit?
Well we've come and we've gone beneath a leaden sky
Fleeting moments, then we said goodbye
The beer was good and the times we had
Fun and games galore
But we spent our money and lay in bed in sorrow
And wondered what we did it for
Cause no band came from miles around
And played for us to see.
Footnote from Garry: Please note that "spunky" is an old-fashioned
term meaning brave or courageous. It doesn't often get used these days because
of other meanings... :-)
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